One of my original bathtub shots from the 2001-2005 era of my photography.
What follows here is a photographer story. But I suppose it is applicable for all of life, is it not?
In my career I have worked with several models, and also had several muses. But there have been only a select few "special" muses that I have thrown my whole heart into the ring for, artistically speaking. As an artist, it's a dangerous place to go - so there needs to be ultimate trust.
But the hard lesson that an artist must learn, is to be careful who you trust. Most of the models you are entering into this bond with, are not women, but essentially post teen girls. They make for great art because they are emotional, but they are they are not yet complete as human beings. Neither they, nor you, have any idea the person they will be five years down the line. They are still empty shells, aware of only their own feelings and wants and desires; the sacrifice of others matters little in light of the overwhelming glow of need of validation and love from the kind of person that will make them feel "important".
When we are young, we cannot see love as an act of friendship or art, but only as a grand romantic gesture. We really have no concept of what love is, until we are old and broken, and nobody wants us anymore.
A pretty girl can never conceive of the time when she will be unwanted, anymore than a young man can conceive of the time where he will not be invincible. We lie to ourselves and say "it will always be thus" -- but as soon as we enter adulthood we begin to waste away. No amount of botox or plastic or skin peels can replace the beauty of youth. Like money, or fame, or any other temporal thing --- it's all a waste.
The ONLY thing in life that lasts is the relationships you have with the ones who are looking past the beauty, the money, the accolades, and the exterior talents -- and seeing the real you, the person that you will be when you are old and broken. Those relationships are fewer then we ever realize.
When we neglect them, and burn them down because we are too self absorbed, we lose something precious - and it's soon gone forever.
Models from my past contact me all the time --- There are those muses who went through the fire with me, and now that we are on the other side, they are still here in my life. There is nothing sweeter than a relationship that has been tested, and has endured.
It's unfortunate that I can only count them on my two hands.
Just this week, I had an encounter with such a person, and it really lifted my spirits and re-inspired me in so many ways.
But today I am sad because I think back on the friendships I thought were going to be there, and aren't.
The way life works, is when you continually throw away the people who love you, they eventually stop caring. In my case, the pictures become artifacts - the artist in me can stare at them, and think "Pretty pictures... but I'm glad she's no longer in my life... what a pain in the ass she was!"
When those models call, eager to reminisce and talk - or when they ask me for images. I just don't care. The act hurt, even surprised that they are no longer a factor in my life, no matter the amount or quality of the images.
It's the old cliche.
People will forget what you do, they will forget what you say, but they will never forget the way you make them feel.
What was once trust, and intense friendship, becomes nothing more than a capture in time.
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What follows here is a photographer story. But I suppose it is applicable for all of life, is it not?
In my career I have worked with several models, and also had several muses. But there have been only a select few "special" muses that I have thrown my whole heart into the ring for, artistically speaking. As an artist, it's a dangerous place to go - so there needs to be ultimate trust.
But the hard lesson that an artist must learn, is to be careful who you trust. Most of the models you are entering into this bond with, are not women, but essentially post teen girls. They make for great art because they are emotional, but they are they are not yet complete as human beings. Neither they, nor you, have any idea the person they will be five years down the line. They are still empty shells, aware of only their own feelings and wants and desires; the sacrifice of others matters little in light of the overwhelming glow of need of validation and love from the kind of person that will make them feel "important".
When we are young, we cannot see love as an act of friendship or art, but only as a grand romantic gesture. We really have no concept of what love is, until we are old and broken, and nobody wants us anymore.
A pretty girl can never conceive of the time when she will be unwanted, anymore than a young man can conceive of the time where he will not be invincible. We lie to ourselves and say "it will always be thus" -- but as soon as we enter adulthood we begin to waste away. No amount of botox or plastic or skin peels can replace the beauty of youth. Like money, or fame, or any other temporal thing --- it's all a waste.
The ONLY thing in life that lasts is the relationships you have with the ones who are looking past the beauty, the money, the accolades, and the exterior talents -- and seeing the real you, the person that you will be when you are old and broken. Those relationships are fewer then we ever realize.
When we neglect them, and burn them down because we are too self absorbed, we lose something precious - and it's soon gone forever.
Models from my past contact me all the time --- There are those muses who went through the fire with me, and now that we are on the other side, they are still here in my life. There is nothing sweeter than a relationship that has been tested, and has endured.
It's unfortunate that I can only count them on my two hands.
Just this week, I had an encounter with such a person, and it really lifted my spirits and re-inspired me in so many ways.
But today I am sad because I think back on the friendships I thought were going to be there, and aren't.
The way life works, is when you continually throw away the people who love you, they eventually stop caring. In my case, the pictures become artifacts - the artist in me can stare at them, and think "Pretty pictures... but I'm glad she's no longer in my life... what a pain in the ass she was!"
When those models call, eager to reminisce and talk - or when they ask me for images. I just don't care. The act hurt, even surprised that they are no longer a factor in my life, no matter the amount or quality of the images.
It's the old cliche.
People will forget what you do, they will forget what you say, but they will never forget the way you make them feel.
What was once trust, and intense friendship, becomes nothing more than a capture in time.
